Hawaiian Poge

Blogging is fun, but it’s hard! I want to write all the time, but I always feel like I should have some sort of a theme, or you know, a reason to write.  That’s not the case in my normal everyday ramblings. Most of my conversations have no point.  (As you all well know!)  Thus, blogging is hard! But I’ll do my best.  It’s still really fun.

Today there won’t be a point. I’ll just catch you up.  My brother Chris got here last Saturday.  (He liked that blog about him. It’s apparently just the right amount of information about him, and there should be that much in EACH blog.)  It’s been really fun having him here. We’ve all been hanging out a lot, going to dinner, hanging out on the beach, etc, etc.. 

Having Chris here definitely puts me back in vacation mode.    For the last 13 years or so, we come here every year for a week or two to visit Mom and Dad anyway,  and all we do is go scuba diving, hang out on the beach and eat a lot.  It makes looking for jobs and furnishing my apartment seem boring.  And so I’ve regressed into normal visit mode.

There’s been some beach time because a) it’s fun and b) Mom thinks I “need some color” which I translate as “need some melenoma”.  I can tell that I’m tanning because you can see my eyebrows and I have a Farmer Ted tan if you look very closely.  No new freckles yet but I’ll keep you posted.  Apparently the SPF 300 is working so far.

I just read in “the Redhead Handbook” (thanks Kellie!) that red-heads are “three-time losers” because our skin is more susceptible to sunburn, skin cancer and wrinkling with age.  Nice. 

What else to report? Mom’s friend Caren brought us to the exclusive Waikiki Outrigger Canoe Club for brunch this morning.  It was delicious. The buffet had papaya and pineapple as its staples.   We sat directly on the water and I watched a 4 year old surfing.  It’s a surreal life I live here.

David headed back to Atlanta for Christmas yesterday.  We decided to split up for Christmas so that we can both be with our fams. 

The Poggis don’t have major plans for this year.  Our forces are depleted so Christmas is a sad time of year for us.  But we’re having a turkey dinner and inviting our friend Doug over. That should be nice. Mom and I decorated the lanai with Christmas lights and hung a wreath on the door yesterday.

Christmas decorations here are funny.  In front of the mall near the beach there’s a huge display with Santa and his reindeer. Did I say reindeer? I meant DOLPHINS.  And there’s a Santa and Mrs. Claus wearing Aloha shirts downtown. 

They wrap the palm trees in lights instead of having Christmas trees and I’m surrounded by wicker reindeer.  It’s bizarre. 

Speaking of reindeer, though not really, I’m currently obsessed with the Pixar short Boundin’.  Does anyone remember this?

It’s about a jackelope (hence the reindeer segue- note the antlers). But it’s more about human resiliency and realizing that everything is in your head and if you want to be happy you just make yourself happy.  It makes me laugh more than anything else in the whole world. Mom thinks I’m crazy. I just sit there and watch it and giggle. Oh do I giggle.

Anyway, I highly recommend it. It’s the short that comes on before the Incredibles, but I think you can get it on iTunes too.

And this concludes my Sunday ramblings.  Til next time Mele Kalikimaka!

This blog will be a little bit different from the others so far.  My brother has informed me that my blog is stupid for two reasons: 1) it’s not funny and 2) there’s not enough about him in it. And so, to remedy this, this blog is dedicated soley to being funny and writing about my brother.

I have a brother. His name is Christopher.  I don’t call him that.  He’s from Upstate New York. I am too.  He had a cat named Flipper. Me too! We have so much in common. 

This is what he looks like:

This is what he used to look like:

He enjoys things like Mystery Science Theatre 3000, beer, oreos, quoting bad movies, writing boring contracts involving law things I don’t understand, old red camaros and The Office.  He also enjoys long walks along the beach and candlelit dinners. 

He does NOT like it if you make fun of his girlfriends or go into his room without his permission and steal his stuff.  I’ve learned these things the hard way.  I don’t understand who wouldn’t like that stuff, but whatever. To each his own.

He suggested that I write the blog every day thinking, “What would I write if I were writing this just to make Chris laugh?”   I vetoed that suggestion because HE would think that was hilarious and I would think that was hilarious, but the tens of millions of my other readers may not be as amused. 

In conclusion, I would like to take a moment here to share with you (must mostly him) what some of my more loyal followers have said about my blog.*

“A must read blog!” - The Chicago Tribune

“I love your blog! It’s like a little hug from Karen every time I read it” - Amy Egan

“I’ll check your blog later and there better be a new entry” - Katie O’Connell

“Karen, I am loving your blog! I have never gotten into anyone’s blog before but I’ll get into yours!” - Margot Murphy

“I just read the blog and you ARE funny.” - Michele Crissman

“Mildly amusing” - Joe Palmer

*Editor’s note:  some of these comments were changed and/or fabricated to make them funnier.

We moved yesterday!  David and I got the bulk of our stuff into our new apartment (yea!) and slept here for the first time last night.  We said goodnight to Mom and then left the apartment (going down the 14 stairs to our new apartment). It was a little emotional -I’m not going to lie. But I think we all realized how not far we’ve gone when Mom woke this morning to find us on the couch eating breakfast.  I’m learning to embrace being a mooch.  Taking care of oneself is overrated I’ve decided. She has much better food.  (i.e. anything)

But the new apartment is coming together. It’s ridiculous how happy I am about these plates that I bought.  They’re blue.  (Inside joke:  I bought a pet turtle.  He’s blue.)  I have matching mugs. That’s right. 

I think I love them so much for several reasons:

1) They’re mine and I chose them. (Most of my belongings are hand me downs of some sort.)

2) They look more expensive than they are.

3) They’re blue and pretty.

4) They remind me of my Uncle Tom’s stuff. (No relation to the book.)  My Uncle Tom (as many of you know) is my Dad’s cousin who he grew up with. He’s just cool. He owns his own pottery store and his stuff is amazing. (www.reecepottery.com - call them though, don’t order from the website- they’re not computer folk.)

I used to spend a part of most summers at their house, and when I was a nomad after college I often ended up there.  It’s just one of my happy places.  And so I like having plates that make me think of them.  In addition, of course, to all the real stuff from him I have.   

So, that’s my story about my plates and my new place.  Another comforting thing about this new apartment is this:

See what I mean about vowels? I’m surrounded.  

I got my Hawaii license the other day!

Exciting! That means I’m a Kama’aina (Comma- ine- ah), or local, I guess.  Any of you who’ve seen Blue Crush may know what it means already (and have bad taste in movies).   You can get discounts if you’re a Kama’aina.  But I’m having an ethical debate.  (How unlike me, I know.)  I have my license. I live here. I could technically go into a local bar or store and show them my license and pay less money for things. Sweet! I’m broke, right? This should be a good thing. But am I a Kama’aina? Am I really?  I’m not from here. I don’t really know people here. I’m not Hawaiian at all. In fact I’m very pasty white and Irish and Italian. If they want to give me a discount for that, I’ll take it! Also, I don’t speak Hawaiian.  I don’t even speak Pidgin! (http://www.extreme-hawaii.com/pidgin/)  Heck, I can barely say the name of my street. 

I feel about using the Kama’ aina discount the same way I feel about using the Scrabble Dictionary. It may be how you play the game, but it’s just wrong. (Seriously, Za is NOT a word, people.)  I’m sure I’ll feel differently the longer I live here, but hopefully that’ll be more because I feel like I’m Hawaiian and not just because I’m destitute after paying $7.00 for milk. 

I read a Dave Barry article once about Wales and how the poor children of Wales didn’t have any vowels.  They “lapsed into heartbreaking silence at the chorus of Old MacDonald”… 

Hawaii is the opposite of that.  Mom and I drove around all morning looking for garage sales and the streets were all called Waiola, Kalakaua, Olekel, Waakaua and other things that I couldn’t say.  I was fired as navigator after about 10 minutes.  The best though is the name of the state fish.  It’s called the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a. ( I am not making this up.) The fish itself is smaller than the name. It’s only about an inch long.

So anyway, the garage sales were fun. It’s first time this trip that I ventured out of Waikiki and a lot of the neighboring towns are really cool.  And I got some good loot. I got a microwave, a toaster and some shelves.  I love garage sales.  Especially if it’s not my own. 

Thanks everyone for all your emails and comments! It’s so great to hear from everyone. I’m glad you like the blog so far. This is really fun. 

My Dad always loved Waikiki and decided at some point that it was his.  He always called it “My Waikiki”.  He’d wake up in the mornings, walk out on the lanai and say, “Good morning my Waikiki”.  He was king of all he surveyed.  I’ve apparently decided that I inherited it and keep finding myself calling it my Waikiki too.  So anyway, it is most definitely raining on my Waikiki.  In general, it almost always rains a little bit in the afternoons, but it’s rained every day since we’ve been here.  Several of Mom’s friends are convinced that we brought the snow with us, only in rain form. If it doesn’t stop soon I think we may be voted off the island. That would be unfortunate.  I’m still hoping for sun.

The funny thing is that it isn’t even that bad. It’s rainy, but still pretty and still warm. I actually heard the weatherwoman on the news today say that “the rain has really kept the temperature down”.  The lowest number on the map behind her was 76. 76 degrees! That’s cold! They are all insane.   All the stores are only selling sweaters.  Mom and Dad always joked that the weather is the same every day here for the most part.  80 degrees. Sunny. Warm.  And on a bad day there’s an “80 percent chance of shade”.  Noooooooooooo!

Today was a good day. It was my Mom’s birthday (and Pearl Harbor Day). David’s in Vancouver for a work thing, so she and I celebrated her birthday (not Pearl Harbor Day) on our own. It was really nice. It involved a lot of relaxing, some shopping and then we hung out on the lanai and made fun of the people walking on the street. It was really fun.  It’s so nice to be able to see her every day.

No pictures for today. I’ll post some more soon!

So… I live here now.  I know this is obvious and I know that it’s all I’ve been talking about for months and months and I know I sold all of my belongings to this end, but… I live here now.  This is weird to me.  I’ve been here to visit my parents a ton of times and every time I’m here I wake up in the morning and say to myself “I’m in Hawaii!  I have ___ days left” and then either “That’s SO much time! Glorious!” or  “Crap, I’m wasting my time. I only have __ days left!”  So I wake up in this condo now and I do that.  I think, “I’m in Hawaii!  How many days do I have left?” And then I’m stumped. I have an infinite number of days left! I live here now.

There’s this book I love called Homecoming.  (Yes, it is a young adult novel, what of it?)  And without telling you the whole story or the reason behind this, one of the characters wakes up every morning and says, “It’s still true.”  That’s what I’ve been saying when I wake up in the morning lately.  It’s still true. 

I wonder when it will feel like home. It’s an interesting question. What is home? I grew up in upstate NY, but haven’t lived there since 1995, nor do I have a house there anymore, but that’s still home.  I lived at Notre Dame for 4 years (well, actually 2 1/2 years) and that was never really home.  I still refer to Innsbruck, Austria as home even though I didn’t live there until I was almost 20 and only lived there on and off for 2 years. 

Boston became home at some point, though I can’t define when exactly.  How many homes can one person have?  And I guess you don’t have to relinquish one home to add another. That’s a nice thought actually.  So I’ll keep you posted and let you know when/if Waikiki becomes home.

One good step towards making this home is that we officially have a place to live!  We got the call yesterday saying that the application was approved and we can sign the lease tomorrow.  I mentioned in an earlier blog that it’s great, but now I’ll give you more details.  So the criteria for an apartment were 2 bedrooms, a certain price, near my Mom and close to the beach if possible.  Did I say near my Mom? It’s the apartment directly below her.  It’s 2 bedrooms, EXACTLY the price we wanted, and three blocks from the beach.  This is our view:

This is my Mom’s apartment. Picture the exact apartment with absolutely no furniture.  (And newer paint and stuff.)

So we can move in this weekend. That’s exciting. 

I live here now.

Today was a cool day because it was uneventful. Just a normal, everyday day in Hawaii.  I slept late, hung out with Mom and David, did a little bit of job research, bought some new shirts because everything I own is too hot and then we went to Taco Bell.  It was fun. Then tonight we ventured out towards the beach and went for drinks at the Pac Beach.  It’s a hotel on the corner where Mom and Dad have always known all the bartenders, so we get free stuff.  It’s cool because one of the walls is an aquarium.  Someone comes to feed the fish at 6 and at 8 and so you can watch all the fish swarm. The feeder also holds signs that say corny things like “Happy Birthday Gorge” and “Happy Anniversary Bob and Colleen”. It’s fun. Mom’s favorite passtime is befriending tourists so we met some cool people.

It’ll take some getting used to, this living in a tourist place where you don’t hate the tourists. I have been one here for years and don’t want to take up self-loathing (did enough of that in high school thank you very much), so I suppose I’ll try to adopt the Aloha Spirit.  Mom and Dad have had a group of friends here in Hawaii since the very first time they came to visit when I was about 10.  (They didn’t bring us because we wouldn’t like it.)  Mom came into their favorite bar after spending some time on the beach and sat next to Dad on the stool he always sits at.  She put her arm around him, said, “Hey, good lookin’” and then looked at him. That’s not Dad. It was a short Japanese man named Harvey.  Mom then spotted the real Dad across the bar, ran to him, told him the story and told him not to look up at Harvey. Dad then went over immediately to talk to him and they’ve been great friends ever since.  With Harvey they inherited a whole group of friends.  That’s the Aloha Spirit. Every time Mom and Dad were here on vacation; once or twice a year for like 8 years, they all got together every night of their visit.  Dad’s been at all of their kids’ weddings.  Wayne’s daughter Karyn came to visit us for a week when we were 14.  (I showed her a great time in Upstate New York. Whee.)

So I guess I’ll try to be nice to the tourists.

Hello everyone! Welcome to my blog.  It’s time.  I’ve decided to finally start a blog for several reasons. 1) I’m funny and you all should know it in written form. 2) I need to start writing more and this is a good way to get the creative juices flowing (and help me to not ever use that expression again.  3) David has a blog some of you read and while it’s all computer jargony and impressive it’s also occasionally BORING. Mine will not be. And finally 4) I just moved to Hawaii where none of you live so now I can keep you all abreast of what’s happening in my oh-so-glamorous and far away life.

Where to start? David and I just arrived in Honolulu on Wednesday and it’s pretty awesome so far. Do you know how sometimes you make a big decision and you’ve thought about it a lot and think it’s the right decision but have no way of knowing for sure ahead of time? That was this decision. But then somehow the stars align and everything suddenly starts to go right and fall into place effortlessly and you think, even if you don’t believe in signs, “This is a sign”.  So we’ve been here about 4 days, it’s been great to spend time with Mom, the weather is awesome, David loves it so far and I think a great, cheap, awesomely located apartment just fell into our lap today. So, nice.  I’ll take it.

And the ocean is really blue. And everything smells like suntan lotion. And I already have a burn line. (Note I did not say tan line.) And I’m unemployed so I get to watch a lot of TV. At this point that makes me really happy. Next week it’ll  put me on the opposite side of the happy spectrum. But not yet. Gilmore Girl marathon? Bring it on.

That’s my story so far. Thanks for tuning in! More to come soon.